Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
