oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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