belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
