A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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