Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
