Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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