a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
