covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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