I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
