I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
