He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize