your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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