i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There r osticjed everywhere
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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