I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
