Whatcha textin bout Willis?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have already put on my inside pants.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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