i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
