It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
