he puts the penis in happiness.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
