The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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