Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
