She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
