So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
