I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
