I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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