Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
