apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize