I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
