It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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