I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
