Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
