I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
