I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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