C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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