Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
