yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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