Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
PANTIES FOUND
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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