And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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