I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
