Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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