We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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