I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
