i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
