i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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