Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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