I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
