guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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