Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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