It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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