Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
