The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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