Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
