okay pat passed out under dana's car
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
