Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
