Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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