Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
