I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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