i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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