He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
