I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
