Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
