no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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