I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
