I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
