I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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