At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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