I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
