last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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