Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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