My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
