she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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