I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
